vertical (1)

Chances are that if you're reading this I have had a conversation with you in my head at some point. I do this before, during and after many interactions that I have with people, but most often before and especially after. It's a kind of daydreaming, I guess. But very one-sided and therefore unfair. I've wondered with some frequency lately, though, why I don't talk to God in these moments instead. Shifting from the horizontal to the vertical, as it were. (wow, that looks really weird when typed: "as it were." what the heck does that mean exactly?) Anyway, it is too often in these moments of internal conversation with another person that I move from the real to the ideal and into dangerous territory where I can be as self-aware and self-absorbed, and of course witty and charming and perfect, as I can possibly be. But how much better to turn instead to the one who really knows me in all my selfishness and imperfection. To take a deep breath and not over-analyze or set myself on shaky ground. Much more fair to the person with whom I interact and much more healthy for my soul and relationship with God.