nothing but

Conviction about something I need to do has been growing for a while now to the point that I can no longer avoid the truth about it. It all started with this quote:

"Do not be surprised, therefore, when you have yielded your
service, given your affection, and poured out your heart to that pleasure of
yours, your idol, your own lust and mischief--do not be surprised, then, if you
have no appetite for Christ, or for that heavenly food." --Robert
Bruce

Then I heard Dallas Willard speak and something he said got under my skin and hasn't left. He talked about how the mind of the flesh stops at things that are natural to us. And we use this as an excuse all the time for our words, actions, etc. "Oh, that's just what comes naturally to me." or "that's just how I am." Well, guess what, if we claim to have the Spirit of God, natural is no longer where we're allowed to settle. We need to expect the supernatural. From ourselves and from God.

Then all of a sudden it was the beginning of Lent and I briefly wondered about giving this thing (or these things) up because I had read about someone else who had found herself needing to do it.

Then one of the Lectionary passages from a week ago was about the Samarian woman at the well that asks Jesus to give her water that would never make her thirsty again and he said to her, "whoever drinks the water I give her will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give her will become in her a spring of water willing up to eternal life" (Jn 4:14). And I realized that I was not satiating the thirst I have with the Living Water but with the cheapo stuff that won't ever really satisfy.

Then last night I watched a documentary of sorts about community revival and transformation. And I knew that some things needed to change in my life. I couldn't just look for the small obedience anymore.

So.... drum roll please.... even though Lent is almost over and Easter is quickly approaching, I'm giving up books for awhile. No reading. No reading anything but the Word of God. When I'm thirsty for words, for stories, for companionship between pages, I need to be reading my Bible. When I satisfy this hunger with anything but God, I've essentially said that God doesn't count. And there's nothing true about that.

This seems silly as I type it. It's more drastic in my heart than I could make it on 'paper.' But I'm going for it. Who knows where it will take me...