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humbled = telling people about this

here we go...

Little Houses

Not that long ago I re-read the Little House on the Prairie books. I've read them probably hundreds of times ever since I was old enough to read. But it was with different eyes and a different spirit that I read this time. I was more aware of the simplicity of the writing and drawn to the simplicity of the lifestyle that is chronicled there. But my eyes were also opened to the complexity of it all. And the hardship. Mostly the hardship.

For the first time I actually pictured in my mind what a barely 10x15 shanty must have really looked like (and the log home, and the mud dugout and that other claim...). And actually considered what dealing with acre after acre of hay from sun-up to sun-down for days on end must have been like (oh and then the corn, and the beans, and shearing sheep and making food and...). I am so not wired for stuff like that.

And Laura! She was 15 when she finally buckled down and went off to start teaching school. 15!!

I know that different times call for different measures, but I was sucked in to the noble simplicity of it all, and find myself quoting stories from the book as I think about my life today. I am inspired by a young girl who is overwhelmed with gratitude that she gets something (one thing!) for her very own, and then shares it with her sisters anyway. I am humbled by the tale of being grateful for a different kind of flour to use so that the bread for today looks and tastes a little different than what they ate the day before.

I'm sure that there was much more behind the scenes than the simple story that Laura Ingalls writes down, but there are lessons to be learned. A simple life that is full of gratitude, for starters...

Will you... ?

Why does asking someone to pray for me even fall into my mental category of things that are humbling, even humiliating?

Part of it, I think, is that asking others to pray for us is not part of our everyday Christian vocabulary, at least in my experience. The things we pray about are private, right? When I tell someone I will pray for them it seems like it's either a flippant, "this is the right thing to say at this moment," statement, or it's a "look deep into their eyes and pray with them right then and there" kind of thing. Maybe it's a personal integrity issue. When I tell someone I will pray for them, they should know that I will, without any further qualifying statements. "Let your yes be yes and your no, no..."

The other part, and this is the more humbling part, is that when I ask someone to pray for me, I'm asking them to pray for me. On my behalf. In a way I can't. Admitting to someone that you can't do something on your own and then asking them to do it for you is always a humbling experience. But this is what we need more of: someone else to share in the burdens of our lives by praying.

Not with eyes or ears

I've been reading through Isaiah lately. I love how that will intersect with Advent and Christmas this year. But as I was reading the familiar prophecy about the Branch of Jesse in chapter11, part of verse three jumped out at me.

"He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears."

As my way of looking at the world and the people in it has changed over the past few months, I find myself much more aware of when things go wrong or people are not being their best selves. The same goes for myself, of course. I notice when I'm being selfish, or someone else is. But this little verse in the middle of Isaiah grabbed me and I kept coming back to it as I interacted with family over Thanksgiving. All I can do is use my ears and eyes to interact with others. That's it. I can't know what is going on in their minds or hearts or spirits. They can tell me, but even then I am dependent on how they say it and how I hear it. So there's just no way around it: I cannot judge others. It is humbling to realize that I'm left with nothing on which to base any judgment. End of story.

sheesh

So I'm only about four days in to this blog and I've already changed just about everything about it. I decided that "Up in the Air," though accurately describing how I am currently feeling about life, didn't quite hit the mark. Because I didn't mention God in that first post, and the truth is, there is nothing up in the air about God, at least in my mind. My ability to understand who God is may in fact be somewhere out in the stratisphere, but as to the reality of who God is, that doesn't ever change.

So I switched. Instead, I'm going to attempt to chronicle the ways I'm humbled each day, whether by Scripture or by another person or something else I've read. Even in the last couple of days I've experienced enough to fill a few posts.

So we'll see how this goes, I guess.

Tis the Day

I wish this hymn wasn't so cheesy. It fit well with my spirit this morning when I sang it.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Refrain

It's Official

Nothing in my life seems to last very long these days. We'll see how this blog does.

I was going to wait until I got a laptop to start this, but even that is "up in the air" at this point.

Yep, that's the easy explanation for the title of this blog. Today brings about yet another thing in my life that is up in the air. I'm sure that there are deep and/or poetic thoughts in my brain somewhere on what "life up in the air" might be like, or look like, but for now it's really just about how I feel about things right now: very little of what I've expected out of my life in the last six months has actually happened and this continues to be the way of things...