something I wrote for something else

Rehearsal/Performance

I’ve been in choirs for a large part of my life. And have always been an enthusiastic participant, especially on the day of a performance when the director told us to “sing it like we mean it.” This was kind of hard to do in middle school when most of our songs were either about ice cream or the state capitals, but as I’ve gotten older, the text I’ve sung have gotten richer. And this has often made it easier to “sing it like I mean it,” because when it comes to singing about God and Jesus Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit in the world, I do mean it. This has lead to some really rich performances.

But not that long ago, in the middle of a choir rehearsal, it hit me that just because a song text was worthy of being sung in truth during a performance doesn’t make it any less true during a rehearsal. And all of a sudden, singing texts like “worthy is the Lamb,” and “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace” over and over again in a rehearsal became a devotional experience for me. In rehearsal we actually experience part of the reality of the performance.

I’ve had this discussion about worship as well. In a class I’m helping teach, we have talked about what happens on Sunday morning as a rehearsal for the worship that is happening in heaven. As with any metaphor, this breaks down eventually, but the truth remains that when we gather together for worship on Sunday morning, we are joining the hosts of heaven in the worship of God that is happening day and night around the throne.

Read Revelation 4 and 5 to get a glimpse of what worship in heaven is like.

truth

The costs of discipleship and obedience to Christ are huge. And if you commit to it, your life will never ever be the same.

not good at

Found this whilst blog-surfing:

Be silent.
Be still.
Alone.
Empty
Before your God.
Say nothing.
Ask nothing.
Be silent.
Be still.
Let your God look upon you.
That is all.
God knows.
God understands.
God loves you
With an enormous love,
And only wants
To look upon you
With that love.
Quiet.
Still.
Be.

Let your God--
Love you.

~~Edwina Gately

flashbacks

I'm finally getting iTunes up and running on the new computer and am currently going through my CD collection... almost entirely made up of CDs purchased in the 5-6 yr period of late high school and early college. This collection is comprised of what was hottest in CCM, Family Christian Bookstore, etc. at the time (roughly 8 yrs ago). Needless to say (then why am I saying it?), my music tastes have changed somewhat since then, but it still is quite the journey. I'm letting myself listen to the first track or two on each CD as it is downloading and that's been quite enough to bring me back, thank you very much. Yikes.

nothing but

Conviction about something I need to do has been growing for a while now to the point that I can no longer avoid the truth about it. It all started with this quote:

"Do not be surprised, therefore, when you have yielded your
service, given your affection, and poured out your heart to that pleasure of
yours, your idol, your own lust and mischief--do not be surprised, then, if you
have no appetite for Christ, or for that heavenly food." --Robert
Bruce

Then I heard Dallas Willard speak and something he said got under my skin and hasn't left. He talked about how the mind of the flesh stops at things that are natural to us. And we use this as an excuse all the time for our words, actions, etc. "Oh, that's just what comes naturally to me." or "that's just how I am." Well, guess what, if we claim to have the Spirit of God, natural is no longer where we're allowed to settle. We need to expect the supernatural. From ourselves and from God.

Then all of a sudden it was the beginning of Lent and I briefly wondered about giving this thing (or these things) up because I had read about someone else who had found herself needing to do it.

Then one of the Lectionary passages from a week ago was about the Samarian woman at the well that asks Jesus to give her water that would never make her thirsty again and he said to her, "whoever drinks the water I give her will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give her will become in her a spring of water willing up to eternal life" (Jn 4:14). And I realized that I was not satiating the thirst I have with the Living Water but with the cheapo stuff that won't ever really satisfy.

Then last night I watched a documentary of sorts about community revival and transformation. And I knew that some things needed to change in my life. I couldn't just look for the small obedience anymore.

So.... drum roll please.... even though Lent is almost over and Easter is quickly approaching, I'm giving up books for awhile. No reading. No reading anything but the Word of God. When I'm thirsty for words, for stories, for companionship between pages, I need to be reading my Bible. When I satisfy this hunger with anything but God, I've essentially said that God doesn't count. And there's nothing true about that.

This seems silly as I type it. It's more drastic in my heart than I could make it on 'paper.' But I'm going for it. Who knows where it will take me...

to catch up

1. I finished A Year of Living Biblically. I was kind of disappointed by the end.

2. Started and didn't finish a considerable number of really bad books.

3. Fell in love with books by Adriana Trigiani. She writes about a charming fictional town in the mountains of Virginia called Big Stone Gap, and the people who live there are normal: they use bad grammar, can't maintain consistently healthy relationship and screw up in a variety of other ways. In other words, not so neat and clean, but the writing is.

4. I also started reading both Wild at Heart and Captivating, both by John Eldredge with input from his wife Stasi. I don't completely hate either one of them yet, but I don't buy everything either. Though I think that's probably what I feel about most things I read.

5. Having it be sunny today makes me feel like someone took the lid off the tin can of my world.

pathetic (or, the books i read/have read)

To start: As I look at it, that title might be difficult for those learning English. Why do we put them through that?

The middle: I wish that I had started keeping track of the books I've read since Jan 1. That seems like it would have been a good time to start. But I'm going to start today instead. Suffice it to say that I've read an extrordinarily high number of books in the last month and a half. That's just what I do. Especially since I've done something I didn't allow myself to do for the last three years:

I got a real library card (as opposed to the 'fake' one for my college library).

And I started with 'A.'

Bliss, let me tell you.

So, I started this today: A Year of Living Biblically by A. J. Jacobs

It's fantastic.

I'm also reading this in little bits and pieces: Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper

Also fantastic.

The end: Right now I'm listening to a Counting Crows CD I found in my cousin's room. Undoubtably this is the sound of high school for me. This and Oasis. But I wasn't allowed to listen to them, so I guess it's the sound of high school from anywhere but my own home.